Gideon Today

So Gideon is doing OK. He is actually 1lb and 15 oz!! So a good weight really. He is on only a small amount of oxygen, 25% or so, but his sats do keep dropping.  Apparently he keeps trying to breath on his own through the ventilator making his sats go crazy! He has low blood pressure and high blood sugar levels, so he may need insulin for that.

I managed to express enough in one session to give him 0.05 ml of milk, it’s really a tiny, tiny amount, they want to give him 0.5 ml every 3 hours and I’m not even close yet, but it was a triumph for me and my boobs. Next session got nothing though. But then again it’s not even been two days, I need to be patient.

It’s strange not being pregnant, I missed an entire trimester. More than a trimester I missed 14 weeks. I keep thinking I feel him kicking and then realise it’s not him. I held his hand today, just for a little while, he is very sensitive. But he is so amazing. I know all the doctors are talking about the “honeymoon period” that he’s in. We both know about this, and that in a few days, things could start getting rocky. But lots of 25-26 weekers do really well. He doesn’t seem to be worse for his 4 weeks with no water, so hopefully he can fight strong.

Taking every day as it comes and planning nothing yet. I find it so hard to leave him, I could watch and stare at him all day.

Some photos from today and yesterday

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New Day, New Blog

I started this blog to update friends and family on my little boys progress in the Special Care Baby Unit (referred to as SCBU from now on) but also to offer hope to others who may suffer from pPROM (preterm premature rupture of the membranes) especially those in the UK who may not have any where to turn for advice, or any hope offered by doctors. Whatever the outcome of my story, and no one can predict that, I did get to spend some time with my son, Gideon, and I did get to offer him the best chance of survival I could. That is what counts here, every single hour counts. No matter the outcome I regret nothing at all. I love him so much and I hope that he can fight and survive.

Throughout my four weeks after pPROM, I told myself that if I made it through this I would help others in the same situation to get the hope and the information they need to make an informed decision about their baby. If all you hear is terminate, terminate from doctors, it can be hard to refuse, if I can help others realise that there IS hope out there, and positive stories and outcomes, then they may be able to fight the negativity and give their own babies the tiniest chance.

Well, anyway, today is Gideon’s first day after his birthday. I am going to see him in SCBU in a minute to see how his night went and see how he is faring, and just to see him. I want to ask about his weight, because there seems to be some confusion, we were told he was 1lb 3oz which is very small for his gestational age, but I saw 886g on his notes which works out at 1lb 15oz, which is MUCH better for his age and a huge difference.

I am currently using the breast pump every three hours to try and get my milk in, so far I’m only getting drops, but then again it’s only been a day and a bit. I also managed to miss a pumping session this morning at 4am. I just slept through the alarm. I am in a semi-private room, there is one other bed in here, but it is currently empty.

I don’t know how long I will be staying in hospital, of course I want to go home, having been in for four weeks, but at the same time I know here I am close to my little one, I can pop over whenever I want and am here in an emergency. Home is at least 40 minutes away, and that is a very long time for me. So I want to stay for a few more days and see how my Gideon is before leaving.

Later I will update with some photos of Gideon, right now I just want to see my baby.