It is 6 months since my little boy was born. 6 months since I first laid eyes on his beautiful face. 6 months since I was the happiest person alive.
Those six months have gone both excruciatingly slowly and frighteningly fast. It feels as if it couldn’t possibly be 6 months since my son was born, yet it feels like it happened the longest time ago – in another lifetime. I live in both extremes.
I am a woman grieving, a mummy without her son to hold, someone desperately trying to conceive again, to rekindle the feeling of hope that I seem to have lost. I conversely live a life without children, with all the emotions of a mother.
And every day my heart both breaks a little more with the pain of missing my boy, and mends a little bit, as time is indeed a great healer.
Today my Gideon would be 6 months old. Except he’s not. I’ll never know what he looks like at 6 months, I’ll simply never get to find that out.
By some amazing chance, Face of loss, Faces of Hope, a site dedicated to telling the stories of baby loss mother’s everywhere, published my story today, on Gideon’s 6 month birthday. If you would like to read my story, which starts from me finding out I was pregnant and tells the story of Gideon’s life and death then you can read it here