Clomid has had a profound effect on me.
- I burst into tears, every few minutes for about a week.
- I was both horny and angry at the same time
- I tried to murder my other half, at least verbally
- I was both exhausted and hyper – at the same time
- I was twitchy as if I’d had too much caffeine
- I suffered from anxiety
- I wasn’t hungry at all
- I had terrible acid reflux
- I had terrible vaginal burning (acidic CM?) ongoing!!
So, all in all, a wonderful clomid experience. I had, luckily for me, expected it, and I also had, luckily for DH (dear husband), warned him I would try and kill him. Now the clomid is wearing down, and thanks to copious amounts of Conceive Plus
, we’ve actually managed to get some baby making in.
Despite the wearing down, I’m feeling pretty zombie-ish today. I am a little confused and forgetful, I keep writing or saying the wrong thing and I’m not very sure what is happening half the time, which made writing my philosophy assignment on John Locke, very fun.
But I have made a plan, thanks to help from other incompetent cervix sufferers. Since I have decided to change GP’s, after one too many bad experiences, I am going to approach my new GP to refer me to Dr Farquharson at Liverpool Women’s Hospital to discuss my cervix and the possibility of getting that cerclage.
A lot of women in my pPROM forums have gone for their TAC – trans abdominal cerclage, this is a permanent cerclage, one that requires a c-section but one that does not require bedrest and has over a 95% success rate. I do not expect Dr F (easier to say) to do this for me. I would however like a TVC, trans vaginal cerclage to be fitted at 12-14 weeks, next pregnancy.
I have thought and thought and thought about this, but I’m pretty sure I’m right. I do have a long cervix, length is not a problem here, but I think strength and funelling is. I know the TVC wont stop the funelling, BUT it could save the bag from rupturing, by holding the cervix together, should I funnel.
If I’m wrong and it wasn’t my cervix, then I still get to carry to term, the TVC being incidental, if my consultant is wrong, and I too have incompetent cervix, then I bury another baby.
My decision is thus…if Dr F says no, and he is a very experienced and well known cerclage doctor, then I will agree not to have one fitted, but I will remain on bedrest constantly until 32 weeks, that is clear. With a TVC, well, bed rest still, but I’ll feel better about it.
Fuzzy brained, clomid poisoned, ttc obsessed and grief overwhelmed I may be, but I’m a girl that knows what she wants!