The appointment went well today.
Dr F is going to do a vaginal cerclage at 10-12 weeks. He feels my cervix is incompetent because it was already open before he even did the hysteroscopy. He doesn’t want to do the TAC because of my weight. Which I understand, but I really wanted that TAC. But instead I’ll do bedrest.
But aside from that, which I already suspected, I also have BV, bacteria vaginosis. This is a bacteria that lives in the vagina in some women. Mostly, it doesn’t cause any issues, unless you also have an incompetent cervix. Because my cervix opened prematurely, the bacteria (entrococcus) was able to bypass the cervix, and infiltrate the amniotic sac, and weakening it. The sac then burst, either because it was funnelling through the cervix, or because of the infection, probably a combination of both.
He said only 1 in 10 women have TWO causes of their pPROM, and I was unfortunate to have both.
Had I not pursued this appointment…had I listened to Dr Clarke who told me to “wait and see”….had I not listened to my intuition that my cervix opened, I would almost certainly have lost another baby. It IS a good thing I haven’t got pregnant yet, or I wouldn’t know all this, and I would be visiting two babies in the cemetery. There are reasons for everything, and I think my Gideon was making sure we didn’t conceive until we were sorted with these plans.
My lupus test was negative BUT my ANA was positive. Dr F said this wasn’t a big deal, and it can positive in women with no issues, BUT I DO have issues, I have an unexplained chronic illness, and a positive ANA with my symptoms sounds like a certain autoimmune in my view. So I want that looked into further.
My progesterone at 8dpo, and on 100mg of clomid (of course Dr F did not know this) was 53!! Without clomid it was 11, so a HUGE improvement. But because I couldn’t tell Dr F this, he assumes I’m ovulating well.
My hormone tests were all fine, even testosterone, which should be raised with PCOS. These were taken on cycle day 3, like the hormone panel normally, is but they were all normal and low.
I still have a yeast infection, still from the pregnancy and nothing will get rid of it. But all my liver, thyroid and full blood panels were just fine.
I wasn’t able to get the clotting factors done as I didn’t give them enough blood, so they re-did it today. It took them 4 attempts, but they got it.
I will get scans every month (ish) from 16 weeks, and cream for my BV every month for 1 week from 12 weeks. I will also visit Dr F every 1-2 weeks during pregnant. It is a long way to Liverpool 2-3 hours one way, I am very concerned that doing this in later pregnancy, with my TVC could cause issues. I don’t know if it’s safe, but I’m telling myself he wouldn’t suggest it if he didn’t think it was. I might have to lay down in the back of the car instead of sitting during that journey.
I’ll be honest, it wasn’t all I’d hoped it would be. Of course I hoped he would give me the TAC, which as a 95% success rate. He offered me 70% success with the TVC. Not the odds I wanted, but better odds than doing nothing. And he seems confident we will have a successful pregnancy next time.
He is very insistent about my weight, but he doesn’t seem to understand that this is the LOWEST weight I’ve been in years, it’s been a long, tough road, and I’m not giving up, but it isn’t easy.
Emotions wise, initially I only felt relief. Then crept in the sadness. Likely it was the BV which caused Gideon’s delivery in the end. The doctors had stopped the antibiotics a week before we went into labour, if I’d known I had BV I would never have stopped them, he could have had a week, two weeks, 10 weeks longer. And it’s all me, it’s no just a random event, it’s my body, my crappy cervix, my BV. All me. It gives me a feeling in the pit of my stomach, grief, and anger and guilt.
But mostly, I am very excited and happy to have answers. This was a long time coming and I knew that I probably wouldn’t get the TAC. I also knew, in my heart, that I had an incompetent cervix, I knew that it funnelled, just as Dr F confirmed. The TVC wont stop the funnelling, but it will stop it opening from the outside, so no infection should pass.
It will mean bedrest, at least I am doing bedrest. From after my TVC until around 32 weeks, I’m am on bedrest, not as strictly as I would have been had I not had the cerclage, but around all my appointments and scans, I do intend on resting, just relaxing in bed, and not climbing too many stairs, which is hard as my toilet is halfway upstairs and halfway downstairs. So, I’ll need to go up there.
But all in all, it’s good. And after the appointment we went out to a museum in Livepool (well, they’re FREE) and then went out to lunch to celebrate.
And all I can think, is that Gideon saved all my future babies lives – all his brothers and sisters. I would never have known I had these issues without him.
He is my wonderful angel. And I miss him so much. But I know he really is watching out for us.