23 weeks 3 days

I’ve been a little on edge this week, I ended up in the pregnancy day clinic with bad stomach cramps on Tuesday. Normally I don’t bother to go to the hospital or doctors, I have an aversion to health care professionals  but I knew I really had to get checked out, ignoring it could be catastrophic. Luckily I was fine, my cervix is still closed which is good and it was some sort of virus. Phew! I remained pretty calm throughout, my hubby was panicking, but I just felt calm, and packed just in case. Hopefully I wont have another scare! The nurses at the clinic were awful, they told me to show up at 1pm and I would be seen quickly. I turned up at 12:45, and wasn’t seen until 2:15!!!! I was sitting there wondering what one earth was going through these nurses head. Here is a woman, with a history of very early preterm labour, sitting in a corridor, with strong stomach cramps, possibly in preterm labour at only 23 weeks, and they are in there with overdue women on monitors for hours. I was so upset, and in the end I nearly just left to go home as I felt I would be safer lying down on bedrest rather than sitting on a plastic chair in a corridor.

Then the midwife tried to find baby on the doppler. I use my doppler regularly so I know how easy it is AND that you don’t need to press hard. This midwife tried to find his heartbeat right down by the pubic line…at 23 weeks?? I told her that he kicks me right up by the belly button and politely informed her that although I was overweight she did NOT need to press so hard. So…she ignored me and pressed harder, it took her ages to get his hb (by my belly button of course) and I was covered in red welts!! Unbelievable!

It’s like my own midwife, “You wont feel kicks until 20+ weeks because of your weight.” And then refusing to believe me at 16 weeks when I was able to tell her exactly where baby was because of the kicks. I’m overweight but I’m not NUMB inside!! 20 plus weeks? I was feeling him at 13-14 weeks, by 20 I was getting thumps!

I really hope I don’t need to go back to the hospital again, they drive me nuts!!

So, I’ve just been chilling out, bedresting, knitting of course. I knitted my first hat on double pointed needles in the round. This means that there is no need to sew up the hat, and therefore no seam. It took me a while to get right, but I did it. I also used some fluffy wool, which was doubly hard as you can’t tell which stitch you’ve already knitted. But I like a good challenge.

Preemie hat knitted in the round

It would probably fit a 24 weeker, maybe up to a 25 weeker. And it’s so soft and fluffy!!

Strange how this blog has developed. From a premature baby blog, to baby loss to trying to conceive and infertility, to high risk pregnancy,  bed rest and knitting. I hope to turn it into a post loss, new baby blog. You know the ones, where I post  thousands of pictures and every detail of my baby’s life, including poo, pee and milestones in explicit detail? Hopefully…one day, but that’s a while in the future.

Strange to think this blog wouldn’t even exist if Gideon hasn’t been born too soon, I started it to keep everyone up to date on his progress, without him there would be no blog.

22 weeks 4 days

wow I can’t believe I haven’t written a post this week. I’ve been so focused on getting through this week, one day at a time and trying not to think bad thoughts, that I forgot to write any posts. Incidentally, I am 22 weeks and 4 days today. I passed my pPROM milestone as calmly as possible, but I still feel very on edge, and I will until I’m well into the third trimester. My main aim is just to get us as far as viability at 24 weeks, so I know the baby will at least be given a chance if he arrives.

This little man is giving me lots of strong kicks and my husband has felt a few good kicks too! His first was on the pPROM milestone at 21+6, and little one gave him a huge kick. It’s  lovely for him to feel the kicks, it’s something he missed out on last time.

Only around 15 weeks to go until I get to meet this little one, and hopefully not too much before then. I still can’t imagine bringing this baby home with me.

I finished knitting a preemie blanket.

Basket Weave preemie blanket

 

 

It took me ages, knitted in 4ply on 4mm needles. but it’s worth it. The perfect size for tiny little babies, I remember the blanket Gideon had was not that soft, this one is lovely and soft.

I’m working on another one now. And still working on this baby day by day, this week has gone pretty slowly, I hope it speeds up a bit to get me to the third trimester.

21 weeks

I keep meaning to write something on this week of 21. But I am procrastinating a bit. I am now 21+4. I think it was 21+3 last pregnancy where I had my first gush of amniotic fluid. And obviously it was 21+6 when my waters broke completely. I fear deeply that this pregnancy will soon  be over, or that, like last time it was spiral into the unknown with pPROM.

I am taking it as easy as possible, which is good considering I have such severe pain in my pelvis, hips and back that I can’t walk much anyway. I think I have SPD, but never mind. As long as baby is healthy then I am happy.

I am happily knitting away at preemie clothes, and am about to try out double pointed needles and circular needles, just to compare. I am working on another sleeping bag for tiny tiny babies. Last one went well as you can see

Sleeping back for less than 1 pound babies

It is supposed to be for less than 1 pound babies, but I think it would work up to 1.5lbs or maybe a little more. I tried to think what I would’ve liked for Gideon, what would’ve been easy. It isn’t easy dressing an angel baby, this little outfit is entirely open, all the way down the front, so you can simply place the baby on it and then tie the front up with ribbon. Or you do dress the other way with the ribbon at the back. Additionally I left the sleeves fully open to allow easy dressing, they can also be tied up with ribbon and the bottom gathers up with ribbon or can be left as it is. I chose ribbon instead of buttons as it would be gentler for the babies. I imagine it would be very warm, but more than that…very comforting for a parent to have a suitable outfit for their baby. The free pattern is here if anyone would like to try it.

I am making the next size up, but I realised  I used bigger needles last time, so who knows what size this one will come out.

And I’m going to start working on a full term one for a friend who has just had a baby, with some slightly alterations as I think buttons would work better on a full term baby. All good for keeping me busy!!

My diabetes seems fine right now, but worryingly I’m not convinced my glucose machine is working as well as I’d like it to. It told me my numbers after a McDonald’s double burger and fries (a very rare treat) was only 6.7!! last time I had one it was over 9, so I doubt that very much. Would be nice if it were true.

The Hunger

I’m currently in a hunger stage of pregnancy, that means that instead of working or knitting, or anything else, all I’m thinking about is food. This is impossible to manage safely with gestational diabetes, it tends to involve me trying desperatly not to eat things for fear of upsetting the delicate balance of blood sugars.

At night I dream of food, but I never actually get to eat them. Two nights ago I dreamt of Jam Roly Polys but even in my dream, I didn’t eat any, I just spent the entire dream making the jam roly poly and then woke up as it was cooking. Last night it was apple crumble, mmmm….again I never actually got to dream eat it. I’m obsessed with food but even my subconscious knows I can’t eat that stuff. Not that I would anyway, I don’t like sweet food, so I’d probably have a bite or too and then feel sick. But I like the thought of it!

My blood glucose monitor has been acting up too, it gives me random readings which I know are wrong. Like after lunch today I got 5.9, even though I know it’s likely to be over 7. So I took another reading from the other hand and it was 7.2. It’s disturbing not knowing what is right or wrong.

It was our 12 year anniversary of our first date yesterday. My husband gave me lots of wool to knit with, and some new needles, I decided to use the new (thicker) wool and the new (bigger) needles to knit a preemie hat. The result was not preemie! You can see in this picture that the hat on the right is significantly smaller than the hat on the left, yet there was supposed to be only 1 size between them. The right hat is for a 24-27 weeker, the one on the left was supposed to be 28-29 weeks. Now I’m thinking that it’s more full term…6 months lol! Not sure what I’m going to do with that one. This preemie size chart tells me it is likely to be a bit big on a 40 weeker and it’s pink, so I wont be using it. 

Preemie hat compared to full term size hat

I know a few ladies about ready to give birth in the next few weeks, if one of them has a girl, they can have the hat 😀

 

 

 

My scan

The scan went well. Little Hippopota-heirloomtomato didn’t want to be scanned and wasn’t really being too cooperative, we got most of the measurements. But when it came to the last one, where we needed to see his nose and lips, he wasn’t having any of it. Instead he decided to cover his face with his hands and look away. We tried to lie on the right, lie on the left, wriggle around and eventually we stopped and had to go for a little walk and a drink of Ribena to get him going. After some manipulation, prodding, lying in strange positions and jabbing we eventually got the last picture.

He was incredibly cute, and lying at odd angles and even licking his hands. It was all very amusing! He measured on target and he had lots of amniotic fluid and seemed happy enough, he’s currently kicking my placenta which explains why I’ve not been feeling big kicks.

19 weeks 6 days

You can see how unbelievably cute he is, look at that nose!

I think I might be a bit bruised from all the scanning, she had to press quite hard. He didn’t let us see if he was definitely a he but we think we glimpsed a pee pee and so did the scanner.

Now, big breaths, the next scan hopefully will be 27 weeks, it will amazing to be 27 weeks!!

Anatomy Scan

Tomorrow, is my anatomy scan. I’m trying not to worry about it too much, but of course that is impossible under the circumstances. It also happens to be the first time I will have left the house in a few weeks, I may or may not go wild and go out for a decaf.

My hubby is supposed to be starting college tomorrow, studying to become an electrician. It just so happened to fall on the day of the scan and I am not rearranging, nor can I drive, (well I can but I haven’t got passed my test) and I certainly am not walking down the hill to catch a bus so he’s going to have to leave in the middle of the day. I told him to explain that this leaving randomly will be for this semester only, after Christmas it’s pretty much baby time (I hope).

I’ve been discovering great and wonderful foods that have little to no effect on gestational diabetes and don’t upset my blood sugar. So what do we have?

  • Alpro soya yoghurt 100g with 1 tsp of honey. You would think honey would be bad for my sugars, but it isn’t. If I eat this in the morning, my post breakfast numbers are roundabout 5. As opposed to the 7.4ish I get with eggs and toast.
  • Quarter pounder frozen burger with 1 piece of bread and a tbsp of houmous. Making sure to buy the burgers that are almost 100% meat with no added rusk. I can get a good 6.0 after lunch with this, as opposed to barely passing with a 7.6 or getting over 8 with a “normal” sandwich.
  • 4 Tacos made with morrisons value mince (half pork, half beef). After taco night (every Saturday) I get a good 5.9-6.2 instead of my usual 7.2-7.9 (sometimes more)
  • Booja booja dairy free ice cream, chocolate flavour with one booja booja chocolate truffle on top. The only ice cream in the world that is dairy free, low GI and tastes amazing. It has little to NO effect on my sugars at all. Making it a nightly staple for me.

Obviously, although great for my sugar levels, these foods aren’t always so good for me, all that meat, those fatty burgers and soya is terrible for my candida, but it is the best I can do. At least I should be getting enough protein! I am a little bit worried that it will make me FAT but my main concern is keeping baby healthy right now.

I am still knitting hats and whatnot, although I am also acknowledging that I need to start back on my writing at some point. Money is getting tight, and luckily with hubby going to college I will have less distractions 3 days a week to get some work done. Not that I don’t love having him around all day – it’s wonderful, but it does make getting work done much harder.

Here are the hats I’ve made so far, starting with the smallest on the left – 20 weekers, perhaps even less, then a 21-24 weeker, then a 24-27 weeker, then it jumps to around a 34-26 weeker, and lastly (late preemie/small full term)

Preemie Hats

Ignore the box of Gaviscon on the right, a sign of my constant reflux! And just so any other knitters can knit tiny hats too, here is the pattern for the first three hats Preemie hat patterns. They are really easy, even for beginners (me) and take maybe an hour to do in total. You can make up a bunch and give them to your local hospital. They’ll be so very grateful I’m sure.