First full day of insulin

I saw my diabetic doctor yesterday who was in a much nicer mood. Perhaps he’d had a bad day last time or something? Anyway he looked at my numbers and wanted me on insulin both for lunch and breakfast, which doesn’t surprise me as I’ve had some bad breakfast numbers. So today I’ve started it.

I used it before breakfast – 1 piece of toast and 2 pieces of bacon, and got a very high 9.1! I’m not sure what to make of that, it’s not normally THAT high even without insulin. I’m hoping that it’s going to lower my numbers, not make them higher – otherwise that’s just weird.

So, I’ve just had my lunch dose with a toasted ham sandwich (lots and lots of ham) and I hope my numbers are good.

I’ve already learnt that the thigh is much more painful than the stomach to inject and insulin smells really strange. It reminds me of hospitals.

I’ve also been putting the ironed baby clothes away into drawers. Yes, I even ironed bibs, it’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I feel I have even the smallest chance of bringing a baby home, so I’m making the most of it and enjoying it.

You can see my drawer full of cloth nappies, I hopefully have just enough to cloth nappy a newborn and wash every couple of days. There’s a mixture of pocket nappies, all in ones, and shaped nappies (made from bamboo – luxury). The shaped nappies need a cover on top, either a waterproof one, or a wool one. My mother is knitting up some “soakers” which you wash in lanolin to waterproof them a bit.

Knitting wise, I’ve been knitting up a beautiful intarsia cardigan for my friend’s baby. It’s taken me ages, but it’s really lovely. I’m just waiting on buttons for it and then I can send it to her. I can’t upload it here as I know she reads my blog and I want her to see it when it arrives, which could be a while as she is on the other side of the world. I’m ready to start a project for button – I’m thinking a panda jumper or some sort of onesie/sleeper in aran.

I did make a little outfit for tiny girl babies, born too soon.

 

It’s a tiny dress and bonnet, it would probably fit an 18-20 weeker. Another thing to donate.

So, I’ve been quite busy. And of course now I’m  off bedrest completely, being 32 weeks, so there is more things to do around the house. I do tire very easily and the pain in my pelvis prevents me from doing very much, but I can at least make my own food, sit downstairs and do ironing.

 

 

 

Insulin at Last

It’s taken nearly 2 weeks, but I got it! I finally saw the nice diabetic nurse today and she put me straight on lunch insulin, she’s also keeping an eye on my morning numbers too. I’m really happy about it. I’ve been getting so many headaches from my high numbers, it’s makes me feel better knowing they will be better now. I wont get my insulin until next week, but that’s fine. At least I will be getting it.

I had a scan on Wednesday, and baby was measuring right on target as usual, his percentile is staying the same, not rising or dropping which is just great. My BP is good too, which was worrying me as I am feeling very dizzy and sick at the moment.

I’m pretty much off bedrest now, and on Sunday, the bedrest bed is coming down. If I need to rest I’ll go up to my normal bed. I expect many times when I’ll need a rest due to this very painful SPD. It’s causing me a lot of pain, when I don’t do anything it’s painful, but what I’d consider to be “normal” pain for someone 31 weeks pregnant, but when I walk or use stairs more than once a day the pain is just awful. I never expected it to get this bad, but I’m happy to go ahead and do it for my baby, whatever it takes to get him here safely, even if I do end up in a wheelchair towards the end. Right now I’m  using a walking stick and going to get some crutches. I’d happily do this forever to get my baby here safe and well.

31 weeks

Here I am, 31 weeks. Somewhere in the next 6-7 weeks, I’ll be induced. It doesn’t feel real.

I love being pregnant, even with all the many many problems I’ve had this pregnancy. Even though I can’t actually walk very far due to severe SPD and my diabetes completely controls my life, and I’ve spent 20 weeks on bedrest. I love being pregnant, because it’s a wonderful thing. I’ve of course had my down days and the days I struggle, I’ve had moments where I wonder why it has to be so hard, but I try to focus on this little guy inside me and hope, hope, hope that he comes out safe and well and has a long happy life.

I even went to my first NCT sale the other day. I bought some toys and a nappy stacker – practical things really. Tomorrow we are buying the last of the baby items, medicines, creams, ointments etc. In a way, I think buying the practical things is more significant than buying clothes. Any one can buy baby clothes, at any point of pregnancy, but it’s only later, when you are actually getting ready for baby arrival that you think of the practical side of things, the calpol and colic drops, the thermometer and baby wash. I didn’t do any of that last time and I’ve left it until well into my third trimester this time.

I’ve washed pretty much all the clothes, I’ve ironed a lot too (when I feel up to it) and soon, next week in fact, this bed I’m lying in right now will be dismantled and the nursery will become a nursery. I’ve spent about half of last week downstairs, and the same will happen this week, next week I’m off bedrest completely, with the option to go lie on my actual bed if I feel tired.

And yet, none of it feels real. I enjoy doing all the prep for baby, but it doesn’t feel as if I will be bringing him home, I’m almost afraid to hope that it will happen.

I think my response when I first hold this little guy might be, “Is he mine?” lol, such is the disbelief.

Pregnancy after baby loss is very complicated indeed!

30 Weeks and another NHS rant

I’m 30 weeks today! I was so happy to finally be 30 weeks, then I spoke to my diabetes nurse.

You’ll remember the whole “pregnant woman don’t need carbs” from last time I saw her. Well she promised me insulin if my numbers remained too high. My lunch numbers remained too high throughout this week, out of 7 meals, 5 were too high. And what does Miss No Carbs say “take metformin!” I’m trying to desperately explain to this incompetent woman that metformin isn’t going to just suddenly lower my numbers, it slowly works to increase the sensitivity of your cells to insulin – over MONTHS. And every single time my numbers are too high it is risking damage to my son. Uncontrolled gestational diabetes not only causes excess growth in the baby, but damages the placenta, risking stillbirth and causes many issues in the newborn if he survives, such as respiratory distress. And this badly trained, ill informed and ignorant woman refuses to listen. She better hope my son is born healthy, because I will SUE her if he is not, I have a record of every ridiculous and dangerous thing she has said to me and I have worked so hard to keep this baby healthy.

I am so angry right now and so upset. The problem with the NHS is that there is nothing I can do, the doctor I am seeing is not much better, I have no one to turn to who will give me the insulin I need to protect my son.

So my current choices are either to cut out the few carbs I have and risk the ketones killing my son, or to keep eating sensibly as I am, knowing the high numbers are…killing my son. Hmmm…choices, choices.

Pregnant Women Don’t Need Carbs

As told to me by a gestational diabetes specialist nurse (actually sister). Please pregnant women, ignore that, you do need carbs.

My sugar levels have been ridiculously high the last couple of days and I’m getting worried, but I figured that since I had an appointment, I’d be fine, I’d get insulin and it would be great. Well, her solution to my high numbers is “eat less carbs” I kindly explained that I hardly eat any carbs at all, maybe 5 portions a day (as opposed to maybe 9) and her reply was

“Carbs aren’t essential, you don’t need them,” I was so shocked I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, at one point I was almost doing both. I held back though. She went on to “inform me” that eating protein wont help me to metabolize carbs and that I can just live off green leafy veg!  I immediately went home and read the studies on how extra protein reduced post prandial (meal) glucose levels, shaking my head in amazement the entire time.

According to this educated woman, I must just eat lots of vegetables. It’ll be fine. She also wants me to increase metformin to 1000mg a day. I’ve been on met now for about 10 months and it has had NO effect on me at all. If it hasn’t worked yet, it isn’t going to start working suddenly. I want insulin, this is my baby’s life we are talking about, not just a bit of fun.

On the plus side my little man looks great, measuring right on target as usual. His percentile maybe dropped a teeny amount but nothing significant and his cord flow looks good too. He is now head down and quite low which explains why my SPD has suddenly got significantly worse. I’m in a situation where I can no longer walk properly at all. I asked my consultant how the cerclage removal will work considering I can’t open my legs and she didn’t really have a good answer for that one. She just said pain killers, lots of them. I don’t like taking pain killers during pregnancy but I think she’s right, there is NO way she will get my legs up in stirrups with  my SPD without some sort of pain relief. I’m very worried that it will cause damage to my pelvis, but I haven’t got a choice. I made it clear to her that it’s unlikely I’ll be able to walk out the hospital after the procedure is done. And I mean literally. My pelvis seizes up if I overdo it, and I just literally cannot do anything about it, I’m stuck. If they want me out, they’ll need to give me crutches or a wheelchair I reckon.

I’m not looking forward to cerclage removal, I’m guessing that even without the SPD, that is going to  hurt like hell, he said he put the stitch really high up! But it will be worth it, everything is worth it.

Here he is in his usual pose, lips pursed, tongue out, chubby cheeks!

I made him a hat this week, his first “full term” hat. I started making it for another baby but that baby is much too big, so this will fit button I imagine, as it seems the size for a small newborn. Which going by measurements and the average weight at 37 weeks, he will be.

 

those snowflakes were my first attempt at intarsia, I sort of designed the hat myself and used a basic infant hat pattern as the base. I think he will be adorable in it.

I’m 29 weeks now, next week I start to slowly come off bedrest. Not sure how I’ll manage the stairs in my house, but we’ll see. I also plan to open the boxes beneath my bed, and see what baby clothes I’ve got in there, wash them, sort them, iron them.

3d Scan

I had my 3d scan today. It cost £150!! Yep, that’s a lot of money, but it was something I really wanted to do. And it was worth it, my cutie pie really is super cute!

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he had his elbow up by his face the whole time and he was snuggled up with his placenta. He also stuck his tongue out at us several times and smiled a lot. Look at those gorgeous chubby cheeks! He also has Gideon’s lips I think.