Your husband asks what you want to do for Valentines day and the only bedroom activity you can think of is sleep.
You fall asleep without realising it while doing everyday tasks and only realise you were asleep when you wake up and realise that talking pandas aren’t real and were likely a dream.
You think talking pandas are real.
You hallucinate talking pandas.
Your brain rebels and forces you to sleep by creating a very real dream.to make you think you’re awake.
You become increasingly paranoid about any number of silly things: food, the weather, talking pandas and their existence.
While having conversations with others, you can hear them talking, you know they are saying words, the words seem familiar, but you can’t seem to process or understand what they mean.
People stare at you, or give you strange looks while you are talking because although you think you are making sense, you are actually talking gibberish. The words you are saying are real, but they have no meaning in the context. Nope, not even to talking pandas.
You wake up from a sleep convinced only seconds have past, to discover two hours have gone by.
You wake up from your sleep unable to remember who you are, or whose baby that is screaming.
You refer to three hours of straight sleep as a ‘good’ night.
You refer to four hours straight sleep as ‘amazing.’
You can fall asleep while writing a blog post.
You write a blog post referencing talking pandas.
You sleepily write said blog post at 2am while a decidedly unsleepy baby painfully breastfeeds for two hours while breaking wind repeatedly on you.
Baby vomits two hours of milk on you and instead of getting changed you only smile, clean yourself up with a well used tissue and try to sleep.
You later use the same tissue to blow your nose.
You have little recall of any of this the next day.