Benedict is a proper little toddler now. When we go out, if it seems safe we let him walk with us (indoors only for now). His favourite store is the pet store, he loves looking at all the rabbits and guinea pigs and especially loves the fish. He also loves the toy store, because he likes to look at everything and play with it. Sometimes we go out just to let him wander around and explore (within reason). Hey a free day out to Pets at Home is a perfect trip for my Benedict.

He has his MMR next Wednesday. Gulp…now I’m all for vaccines. I’ve done my research, I know the risks of not getting vaccines outweighs the risk of getting them, but still…the MMR is a biggie. And it’s scary. I’m terrified something will happen to him. My wonderful little  man. You can’t ignore all the horror stories, as rational as you are. So I’m going to be a nervous wreck for a while.

He spends all day pointing and asking “dat” and “dis”  over and over. It’s funny. And he learns new words all the time. We had “baloooo” the other day when I told him about the balloon. And cow, and he can say “mooo” he can also say “wan dat” and “ged it” and for some reason when he wants something he sits down. It was accidental, I taught him to sit down so I could give him his straw bottle when he asked for “dink,” and ever since then he sits down when he wants something. Be it food, drink, a book, or even a hug. It’s very cute.

He loves loves loves his books. His favourite right now is Octoupus Socktopus. And we read it many times. I personally love, “Sleep Little Angel,” which is truly beautiful. And I’d recommend it to other mothers of rainbows. We sing it to him every night.

He loves music and singing and his toy train that sings to him. Most of his toys are of the simple, non singing, often wooden variety. Lots of blocks and cups and stacking rings, but the couple of singing toys we have, he really does love. He also loves stacking blocks and shape sorting. But still the singing train is his friend!

As for me. i am STILL waiting to get that referral to see a rheumatologist. Yesterday, I had a mummy brain incident where I “lost” the car keys while hubby was in the dentist. I ended up having to walk back to track them down. It was (for the first time in ages of course) very sunny, not hot, but sunny and I wasn’t wearing either a hat or sunscreen. Eventually I discovered a hole in my pocket, where the keys were hidden away, but…unfortunately the damage from all that sun is done (I was out in it for maybe 20 minutes). I’ve already been in a flare for the last three weeks but today my face is red, itchy and blotchy from the sun exposure. Not to mention the extreme exhaustion, so bad that when it was Benedict’s nap time, I knew I would never make it up and down the stairs to keep putting him down (as goes almost every nap), so I had to just stay upstairs and wait around.

I’m going back to the doctors next week to just…try and get them to figure this out. I can’t keep waiting endlessly for a referral that might be another 3-4 months. My husband is looking for a new job – and that will likely be a day job, not a night job like he has now, which means I simply can’t be this bad all the time. I have this terrible dread that something will happen to me while I wait for this damn appointment. Or I’ll finally get there and get a useless doctor who thinks that fat is the reason for everything (not for the first time! really, I know I’m overweight, but it isn’t causing sun sensitivity or half of these symptoms…)

Let’s hope I get to see someone soon, and that I see someone good, because so far, this year has been sucky, financially, health wise, all sucky. Things need to pick up!!

Anyway, I should go to bed. Ben has me up around 6am most days, and I keep  meaning to go to bed earlier, but time gets away from me.



And My Baby is 1

Happy birthday to my little Benedict, my wonderfully spirited little rainbow. And what a year it has been! The difference is so amazing.

birthday boy

We had a wonderful day, took him to soft play which he loved, and he had a smash cake, which he did not smash. It was lovely.

He loved when we sang happy birthday to him. So we had to sing it many many times. He lets us know when he wants us to sing to him by doing the “twinkle twinkle little star” hand motion. And once we stop singing, he often does that to ask us to sing some more. I spend much of my day singing to him. It’s wonderful.

This is the face of a baby who has three people singing happy birthday to him.


Another year awaits. I hope we can make it a great one for him.

Weight: approximately 18lbs (birth 6lb 9oz)
Height: approximately 69cm
Likes: Baths, singing, the keyboard, stacking rings, cups, blueberries, cod, books and reading, pushing my lion, spicy food,
Dislikes: Father christmas, bearded men, salmon, lamb, the intercom on the baby monitor, things that feel gooey, the carseat,
I can: Walk, point, crawl, kiss, clap, sign for bath, ask for singing, say drink when thirsty, stack rings, stack 4 blocks, do basic shape sorting, pretend to talk on a phone.
Nicknames: Poodles, Little man, Ben boy,
Has 4 teeth and 2 on the way.


We took Benedict on his first visit to the library to get him a library card. He of course charmed everyone while he was there. Apart from a man with a beard. He doesn’t like bearded men for some reason. He got very upset and the man tried to hide his beard under a bag, it didn’t fool him for a minute.

He explored the books, walked around and generally enjoyed himself. he’s actually really doing well walking now. I’d say around 70% of the time, if there is somewhere to go he will walk instead of crawl, and although he falls down a lot, he is happy to get back up again.

Not the best picture in the world I know. But he likes to move around a lot.



We picked up a nice stack of books



I want to take a photo a day, so this is today’s photo, on New Years day I came out my house and saw a beautiful rainbow. A beautiful sign from my little Gideon I think.



And yesterday, I couldn’t think of anything to take a photo of. So I present you with…frogs. Frogs on my bath. What better symbolises a house with kids, than frogs on the side of a bath? Last year all I had was shampoo and conditioner…maybe a sponge or two, but now I have frogs. I love it 🙂


2013 in review

Here is my annual report. I had a few less posts than last year (by about half) but not bad considering the busy year I’ve had. I can’t believe I’ve been blogging here since March 2011. When I started I had no idea I would still be blogging nearly two years later.

The WordPress.com stats  monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 17,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

So, of course every year most people go ahead and make resolutions. I always have a huge amount of them, most of them never happen 😉

Lose weight (no seriously, it’s getting very unhealthy now, I’ve gained a lot since having Benedict)
Stop spending so much money (could I be any poorer)?
Keep my house tidier (Is there a carpet? Has anyone actually SEEN a carpet)?
Actually publish a book (I’ve written enough of them, how about publishing one on kindle already)?
Sort out my health (still waiting for a referral and living in pain)

So…that’s a lot of things to think about. If I were to narrow down my goals, I could say:

1) Only eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full. No emotional/comfort eating
2) Only buy at the supermarket what is on my list and only go to the shops once a week, no matter what. Plan meals to avoid running out of things.
3) Follow Flylady. Even if it only helps to curb the mess a little, it’s better than nothing.
4) Extensively edit a manuscript and publish a kindle book
5) See a specialist about my health.

So I asked if only ONE of those things worked, what would I choose?

So what I really want this year, is to be healthier. That means making sure I actually see a GOOD doctor this year. I can’t control my symptoms, but I can control my weight. I will feel better if I lose weight, it will increase my quality of life, even if I’m still dealing with whatever is wrong with me. It will enable me to do more with Benedict. So I’m making it simple…health is my goal. That is all.

Here are some self reflection questions to sum up my year:

What three words describe this year: Joyous, enlightening, challenging,
What is your best memory this year?: Meeting Benedict for the first time
What was your biggest challenge this year?: Understanding Benedict and coping with the incessant crying
What is the biggest improvement in your life this year?: Benedict has changed my life for the better in so many ways and taught me so much about patience and parenting.
What was your biggest achievement this year? Getting Benedict here safely and persevering with breastfeeding.
What do you think your biggest downfall was last year? Emotional eating when things got stressful, or when I was sleep deprived. 
What would make me happier?: Feeling and being healthier. Losing weight
What can I do to make that happen?: Stop emotional eating
What are your hopes for this year? That Benedict continues to thrive and that I can make him happy. 
What was your resolution for last year?: To have a healthy baby
What is going well/needs improvement in:

  • My health: I’ve figured out many of the major triggers, but I have a long way to go before I can start reducing flares and pain. I also need to focus on eating a healthier diet.
  • Work/academically: I didn’t like the course I started this year, so need to decide on a new one – my last one to get my degree. I am also in the middle of a different book – I have another to finish too.
  • Emotionally: I’ve struggled with some depression this year but have learnt so much about parenting. Grieving wise I’ve realised just how much I missed with Gideon, but I keep him very much alive in our life and talk about him as often as I can.
  • My daily life: I need to have a slightly more organised day-to-day life. Benedict thrives on routine and structure. While my little “monterssori” corner is a huge hit, I’d like to do more structured activities too with Benedict and also fit in some baby classes too, even though they tend to coincide with his naps.

So, there you go. And I’ve been trying to write this blog post for three days, but Mr Teether here doesn’t like it when I open my laptop, or take out my Nexus, or anything, and doesn’t really enjoy this “napping culture” that some babies enjoy, so it makes things a little more difficult.