I’ve been a bit of a flare since I’ve started this autoimmune diet. I’ve no idea if the diet is causing the flare, but I feel rough! I’m hoping that it’s some sort of detox…or a “get worse before you get better” thing, because I can’t keep doing this for much longer feeling this way. I’ve got a permanent headache, constantly bloated (I even wake up bloated in the morning) nasal and mouth ulcers constantly, joint pain constantly, exhaustion, confusion, tinnitus, and my face rash has been so bad it’s been a little embarrassing even going out. I’ve also been having very very vivid nightmares, lots of dreams about babies dying, miscarriage and baby loss. It’s bizarre. It’s the kind of dreams I would expect while pregnant, and nope, I’m definitely not pregnant.
I’m in the middle of trying to pass exams to work for an internet rating company. It’s hard work, there is lots of stuff to learn, and I had my first conference call today. I can’t say much about the work due to confidentiality, but it isn’t easy at all, especially when you feel as spacey and sick as I’m feeling right now. I have a deep fear that one day all days will be like this, right now this is my worst, or almost my worst, but even the good days aren’t that good anymore, and the bad days are just increasing. By the time they figure this out, it could be a permanent state of confusion and pain.
So, hoping that this is just detox. I’ve been on the diet now for 5 days. That is all. I’m giving it a little longer before doing the dreaded thing…going to the doctors again. It feels me with fear and loathing to even think of it.
Benedict is good. He’s been a bit strange recently, acting incredibly hyped up (even more so than usual) and then crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason. He loves spinning in circles, even while eating, pouncing on me and biting me and diving head first off the chair! His feet caught on the chair and he did a flip in the air landing on his head. Ouch! He’s brilliant though, always making me laugh and if I could just borrow a little of his boundless energy I would be one happy mummy!
We had a lovely bbq yesterday as the weather was so nice, I gave Benedict a bucket of water and some toys and he had a great time splashing it everywhere, pouring it on himself and me.
It was fun. And I’m tired, so good night (I hope).