Today, was not a good day. I had a flare up of a long standing stomach issue. I knew something was up when my tinnitus was bad, always a sign of imbalance for me. I also had a feeling of something in my throat. Then after lunch I felt really unwell, absolutely exhausted.
I pushed through and took the kids out for a walk. It was beautiful, my youngest was just starting to get digging with her spade in the sand when the heavens opened and it started to pour down with rain.
We ended up at the local cafe, where my children, hyped up on far too many Halloween sweets, drove me to distraction. Then my husband arrived. Then my mother and we decided to take the hyper ones home. As soon as I left the cafe the downpour started. By the time I got home I knew I was in trouble. The pain is awful. my stomach feels like it’s burning up inside, my lower abdomen feels like a cross between the worst period pains and food poisoning. My lower back is in constant, unrelenting agony. It’s not functional, it doesn’t change if I move, it just hurts constantly. A hell of a lot. I took to bed after the kids went to bed and slept an hour or two.
These episodes are increasing, they used to be rare, I don’t know the trigger. Sometimes I wonder if it’s high fat foods, or too much protein, or too many carbs.
I wonder if I have GERD or an ulcer, or h pylori. Or if it’s gallstones, just ibs, pcos, I don’t know. Nothing fits everything at once. But the pain. The unrelenting pain. It’s not like the pain from my connective tissue disease. But I know something isn’t right. I just don’t know what. I feel like I’m working through departments at my hospital. Trying to get my health back on track. And it’s not working. I feel like crying. I hoped the thyroidectomy would be my miracle. But it wasn’t. And I am tired of all the health issues and what ifs and pushing through life in pain.
I am tired. And I try to stay positive. A lot. I do. But wow I need a break.