All stitched up

It was a long, and not very nice, visit to the hospital yesterday. So far my experience of Liverpool Women’s has been lovely, but yesterday not so much. I went in, and got my own room – a good start, then asked for a scan before I went to surgery but they said no! I’m not so sure why, considering checking on baby before surgery seems vitally important to me, but not to them. So no scan before or after. Then I went down to surgery, got all prepped and then mentioned my latex allergy and that’s when all hell broke lose. Apparently despite all my allergies written on my notes, they still didn’t know and the theatre was made up with latex. So they had to remove the latex cap and send me away. It was 4 hours later before I went back down to surgery. Being both pregnant and diabetic (at least while pregnant) I was not happy. I hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink in over 17 hours!! I was so dehydrated, but luckily my blood sugars didn’t drop too much, in fact they remained steady, which for me is amazing, since only a few days ago they dropped right down to 2.9 or  52 which is counted as a hypo. So it could’ve been BAD! Gideon was keeping an eye on me for sure.

I was pretty angry by the time they came for me, I was very concerned about my button and the ketones that must have been floating around with the dehydration. But I went back down to surgery and they tried to put the latex hat on me again!! I shifted away from them and told them once again “I’m allergic to latex” and they told me that the hat wasn’t latex. Another nurse approached and said it was.

By this point I’m annoyed and scared about the incompetence. If I hadn’t said anything the first time then the would’ve operated on me, with latex – while pregnant. I dread to think.

They did get a needle in my hand this time, not the wrist, but by the time they got me to sleep I was crying. I was afraid for button. They kept saying “breathe, breathe” to keep me calm.

Afterwards, I didn’t have any real pain, they offered me pain relief but I didn’t need it, there was some bleeding, medium red bleeding, now it’s just a bit of light red/brown spotting. it does hurt a bit down there, but nothing serious. I was also ignored for over 5 hours after the surgery, no one came to check on me or to see how I was. I was just  left alone, anything could’ve happened….

I’m on my internal antibiotics as well to prevent infection.

The hotel was not up to expectations though, we had stains on sheet, dodgy looking pubic hair in the bed and tatty decor. Not 4 star at all. Sorry Heywood House, you have no right to your 4 star rating, I think you need re-rating.

But we had a lovely time together, and my husband even persuaded a nice restaurant to do a take-out meal of hummus and calamari to keep me happy!

This is my wedding ring and engagement ring.

My wedding Ring

See my lovely fake nails, those are gel nails, I had them put on for my wedding day and went to get them removed at a neighbours house, who works in the same salon. Well…an hour later and lots of soaking and the nails would NOT come off. It took me hours of scraping, soaking and pulling to get those damn nails off. I do NOT recommend them at all, what the heck are they made off? Asbestos?

Oh and some amazing news. I came home and got out my doppler to try and find baby and was just about to give up when I heard a sudden train-like beating, my little button, he only stayed around for about 5 seconds, but he was there, maybe slightly faster than my Gideon. I cannot tell you the relief I felt hearing him/her.

That’s all. I’m now on bedrest! I have a scan on Friday and then onto the second trimester. I’m 12 weeks tomorrow.

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A Married Woman

Yesterday, was lovely. The sun actually shone instead of raining, I think Gideon sent me the sunshine especially for the day.

I had a wonderful surprise, when the car I was hankering after appeared at my door. I said “I didn’t order a wedding car, who else is getting married?” Apparently my mother and my husband had conspired to get me this lovely car as a surprise. They kept the secret well.

Beauford Wedding Car

Loved this car. But it was very hard too get into with the roof up, I almost had to crawl.

The dress looked lovely

Coming our my house

Signing the register

Most of all we just had a lovely time, and it so nice to be married to my John, after all these years.

And the cake I was making until 2am the night before the wedding came out beautifully. All those butterflies to remind me of my Gideon.

Also, I bought my husband some cufflinks with Gideon’s prints from Tiddly Prints. They came out really beautiful and they also sent me a surprise, a little necklace with Gideon’s footprint. I didn’t order it, and I was so touched I nearly cried. Sometimes you come across the most amazing people in the most unexpected places.

 

 

3 Weeks

I’m getting married in 3 weeks. I can’t believe how fast it’s come about, I can’t believe it at all. I wonder when it’ll feel like it’s really happening? On the day?

I feel so happy that my little button and my little Gideon will be with me on the day, even if I can’t see them in the traditional way, I know they’re there, I feel them.

It’s wedding, cerclage, bedrest and (hopefully) healthy baby. Come this time next year I hope I am writing about celebrating my 1 year wedding anniversary in 3 weeks, with my button in my arms.

That is the dream.

 

Final Wedding Invitations and a Good Ramble

My wedding invitations are almost ready to send. Luckily. I think I understand why people charge so much money for making them, they’ve taken ages to complete. And my dear fiancé had a lot of trouble folding, cutting, sticking or doing the bows. I don’t think he’s the card-making type. Here is the final version, we changed the colour of the ribbon, but it’s mostly the same.

Homemade Gatefold Wedding Invitation

 

Pregnancy wise I’m 4 weeks 2 days. Time seems to be going slowly. I’m mentally convinced that my period will arrive any time soon and I’m having a hard time processing the information that there might be a little embryo making it’s home in there right about now.

In fact, I’m in such denial that I don’t want to go to my appointment on Monday. Right now I feel 1) it’s too soon 2) I like my little patch of denial.

But I am going to go, I have a ton of questions to ask, and at least then I can get all the answers I need.

Mainly I want to point out that with the transvaginal cerclage, 1) I’m going on bedrest from cerclage until 30 something weeks and 2) I don’t think driving 1.5 hours to see him every 1-2 weeks is a good idea. I’d rather go see someone closer to home who can relay information to him. I know the care would be better seeing only him, but I cannot do that long travel with my crappy cervix, especially after 19+ weeks. Arrangements need to be made I think.

I haven’t decided which hospital to use, they’ll ask that in a few weeks, and I have two choices: the first one told me to abort Gideon and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I understood informing me of the risks and even suggesting their “best” course of action, but they wouldn’t stop. And the constant badgering to kill my baby upset me tremendously.

Or there’s the other hospital where I spent everything from about 23.5 weeks until delivery. Initially I hated that place, they were horrible to me, they put me in the labour ward when I arrived from the first hospital and for several days I lay there watching women in early labour, hearing their grunts and screams of pain and watching them get wheeled away to have their babies. They also refused to give me antibiotics. I was on bedrest and I kept getting up, going to find a nurse and beg for them. I had an infection, and they told me they “were too busy” to give me the antibiotics, I was in tears thinking the infection would put me in labour. Then they tried to put a drip through a blocked vein. I kept telling them how painful it was, the liquid was just pouring out of me and it HURT, like you cannot believe, I was crying in pain, and they told me “that’s normal” until a kind nurse came round some hours later and discovered the whole vein was blocked, never to be used again.

So, yes, I hated them. At least at the first hospital, most of the nurses were kind, the doctors not so much, but the nurses were lovely and even kept phoning to check on me and when Gideon was born they kept phoning to see how he was doing. Most of them were really nice to me, and kept me hoping even when the doctors gave us no hope at all.

Later, at the second hospital I did manage to make friends with enough nurses to get reasonable care, but a lot of the nurses did not like me, and made no effort to show otherwise. In their view I was a waste of a bed (and eventually a private room) because I refused to go home and refused to induce. I was past viability and about 45 minutes away from home, I was not going back there in case my baby came too fast. They would also refuse to bring me food unless I got up to walk down to the dining room, and the food was awful, usually inedible, and not suitable to pregnant women with gestational diabetes.

Clearly, I have great choices. But the first hospital has no SCBU (special care baby unit) they only take babies at about 34 weeks gestation. If I went into early labour I’d need to to the second hospital anyway (shudder). The SCBU was lovely at the second hospital but…I think there may have been better facilities elsewhere.

Just an overview of my Welsh NHS options.

Writing it all down has helped, I think I’ll go for the first hospital. At least they have reasonable care, reasonable I say, not great. If I go into preterm labour after viability I’ll head straight to the second one anyway.

In case you can’t tell, my brain is working in overtime right now. I just want everything figured out.

Going to the Chapel and we’re…

Going to get married I hope.

Anyway I thought I’d upload a picture of the lovely little church where we hope to finally get wed.

That annoying yellow truck is very distracting. It wouldn’t move! Very inconsiderate. This is the Parish church in our local town. Behind you can see mountains if you walk 5 minutes down the road away from that yellow truck, you’ll meet the sea.

Perfect.

Tomorrow is wedding dresses. It’s all getting very exciting here!

Church booked…pretty much

After trying to decide between getting married in a Catholic Church and getting married in a Church of Wales church we finally decided to go for the Church of Wales. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to get married in the Catholic church, but I didn’t want to have to argue my case and try to persuade them to let me get married there because I hadn’t attended the church since before Gideon was born. I didn’t want to have to make promises I couldn’t keep about attendance. Basically I decided I DID want to marry in  a Church but the Church of Wales don’t mind that I haven’t attended that church EVER, or that I’m not terribly religious, as long as we live in the Parish. Which we do.

Anyway, the little Church is cute, overlooked by a lovely mountain and really rural looking.

So 7th of July and the day is happening. I can barely believe it after so many years together. And this weekend is wedding dress shopping, well looking, since we are making our own.  But they don’t need to know that!

Also on an interesting note I got a positive ovulation test today – at only day 14. Normally it’s at least day 16. Hopefully that means my body is doing something right, but who knows.

Positive one step OPK

Not bad considering I’m not taking meds this cycle!

But I’m not temping or anything so I wont know for sure when ovulation happens, but my ovary sure does hurt.

Anyway Onwards to wedding planning!