Still Draining

I hoped to go home today but the drain in my neck drained 35ml of blood, 15ml overnight. So it has to stay in, and so do I. And I’m not best pleased about it. I want to go home. I don’t sleep well in hospitals. I finally fell asleep last night, pretty late, it’s so hard to get comfortable with two needles and one drain in. They put an extra needle in my wrist while I was under because my veins proved hard to find. So I can’t use either hand properly.

My kids will be disappointed I can’t come home too. But that is the life.

Weirdly I’m still numb on my left side, whatever local they gave me is good. It means I’ve not needed to take any painkillers. The wound feels very tight though. It’s quite uncomfortable. The last opposite me had the same surgery as me, but is struggling to keep her oxygen sats up, she was on a cannula all night and a mask now. My oxygen was low for several hours yesterday but only midly, so I should count myself as OK with my drain and over enthusiastic bleeding. And the wound looks surprisingly good considering.

Bye bye giant thyroid nodule

The hemithyroidectomy is done. It only took about 2.5 to 3 hours. I’m pretty scary looking, but so glad it’s over and done with. I’m luckily still under local anaesethic in my neck, so my neck and ear on that side are numb. No idea what the pain will be once it wears off. Right now my cannula in my left wrist is hurting way more. I just managed to get changed into my pyjamas so I feel much more human. And my children and husband are visiting later.

They’ve not told me much about the surgery just that it went well.

Picture coming up, don’t look if you are squeamish

The wait

I’ve been checked, drawn on, and talked to my surgeon but there are 7 people waiting for beds in the ward I’m going to. It may or may not happen. I could end up needing to go home and wait some more for another surgery day. And then it could happen again. I hope not. I can’t go through the stress again.

So I’m just sat here, doing crosswords and waiting.

9am Tomorrow

It’s happening. Tomorrow at 9am I am due to have half my thyroid removed. No more carbimazole. No more trouble swallowing (except for the recovery period), no more suffocating when I lift my arms above shoulder height. So it’s my last full day on this nasty med.

I’m anxious. Will it be a long surgery? Will it be easy to remove it from my neck structures? How will the pain be? Will it be awful being on the ward? (I hate being on wards).

Watch this space for an update

Long overdue update

Underneath this is a draft of a post I thought I published on Gideon’s 7th birthday, but obviously I did not. But I wrote it. Such is the way of my slightly over scheduled brain.

I thought I would update tonight, as I am finally, probably getting thyroid surgery next Wednesday. The plan is for a lobectomy, a half thyroid removal but it could be a total thyroidectomy.

Over three years ago, when I was 9 months pregnant with my now 3 year old, I mentioned that my glands were hurting and swollen again. I have autoimmune issues, so it isn’t uncommon. But they weren’t glands, it was a large nodule on my thyroid that had been growing for some years before this. A scan showed a 6cm complex nodule. And a Fna (fine needle aspiration) of the fluid, not the solid, showed it as benign. Some time later I was quite unwell, and kept going back to the doctors. My Tsh had dropped to almost nothing but my t3 and t4 were OK. They kept saying it wasn’t related to my large complex mass on my thyroid. So I suffered the shaking, sweating, anxiety and palpitations until, yes, I was diagnosed as hyperthyroid. I already knew that was coming. I’d researched.

So for 2.5 years I’ve been on carbimazole, an anti thyroid med, to control the t3 coming from this large nodule. It’s not graves, it’s a toxic nodule. And it’s grown. I’ve had a second fna where they drained 50ml of blood stained fluid and it just grew back solid.

So here I am. I estimate its around 9 to 10cm. It’s definitely causing me obstruction issues. And despite the hyperthyroidism I’ve just been unable to lose weight. I’ve actually gained it while in full blown hyperthyroidism. So they are finally taking it out. And I’m relieved. I might be able to breathe properly again. I won’t need my carbimazole.

And there’s a chance it might be cancer. Most hot nodules are benign. But I know that almost 10 years ago when my autoimmune stuff began, a major symptom for me was very bad pain in my thyroid. Like a spasm. Right the base of my neck. My doctors at the time dismissed it, along with all my other symptoms, and I’ve lived with it for years. It’s been painful. It hurts. And I have enlarged, painful lymph nodes on the same side too. The fact is producing hormone is a good sign of it being benign. But I worry, I’m a worrier. So I want it out. I cannot tell you how relieved I will be once it’s out, and if I get the all clear. I want to get on with my life. Draw a clear line under these thyroid issues. Or face whatever I need to face.

My children have never spent more than a few hours apart from me. I know my son will worry. He’s amazing but has some anxiety too. So here’s to having my neck cut open