Goodbye for now Gideon

My sweet little Gideon passed away at 1:45pm this afternoon. He fought right until the very end, and he died in my arms. We had to make the choice to remove his vent, his sats were dropping and we left the decision in his hands. I told him that if he was ready to go, drop his sats below 70 permanently and I would know he was ready. After this his sats began dropping. Gideon waited until everyone arrived before dropping below 70. Then we asked for his tube to be removed. We carried him to a private room and held him as he died, even then little Gideon, the warrior, fought to stay alive with mummy and daddy, we had to tell him it was OK to go.

There is no words that can describe the pain we are feeling. I miss him so much, and I keep thinking that it wasn’t supposed to end this way. He fought so hard for so many weeks, and it was sepsis that took him. It just isn’t fair.

But he was ready to go, and he was so ill. He let us know he was ready.

Good fight little warrior, good fight.

Rest my little boy, rest and enjoy life as an angel.

xxx

Mummy and Daddy

On the brink

A day of near misses, slow declines and tears. He is very swollen today, a sign of sepsis, he cant get his sats higher than the high 70s, even though he is on full ventilation, maximum support, They told us there is nothing more they can do for him, now it is up to him. If he can fight this, they will support him, if not…the despair overwhelms me.
I cannot help him, I cannot fight his fight. He looks so ill and I can’t even hold him. I can only stand back as they try to bring him back time and time again. And believe, I can believe in him, and that he can win. A long night lies ahead, will he make it?

Hold on tiny warrior, this is a battle worth fighting,